Thursday, January 29, 2015

kallie girl: one month

Kallie is one month old! I can't get over how much we've grown to love this little girl in such a short amount time! Memories from this month include...the cutest little puppy dog grunts, endless hiccups, full-belly comas, and lots and lots and lots of snuggles! She especially loves cuddling with her daddy, taking baths, riding in the car, and she hates being hot. (Once again- she is her daddy's daughter!) My daily battle is always trying to decide whether or not to put her down when she finally falls asleep to get things done?...or keep snuggling. Snuggling usually wins :) Can you blame me?



The view from my office...



A few outtakes...


Sunday, January 11, 2015

kallie's first week

Oh my word- we just love this baby! The first week with her in our lives was so special, I had to jot down some notes so we wouldn't forget. Time is flying by so quickly already!

Day One: Monday, December 29, 2014
Continuing on from her delivery story... After she was born, the next few minutes were pretty standard. Ryan cut the cord, they laid her on me while they toweled her off, then took her over to the little heating station in the corner to be checked, weighed and measured. Then within a few minutes they brought her back to me, and as soon as they laid her on my chest, she was silent. Like she recognized me! Totally silent and calm with the most alert eyes just looking around all over. That’s when it all started to get very real… This is my daughter! She knows who I am! It was amazing how quickly I fell in love. Then there was breastfeeding, bath time, then they moved us to postpartum where we would stay the next two days to recover. Ryan was absolutely amazing throughout the entire process, but I especially loved watching him fall in love with his little girl. He was super emotional all day long—a side I rarely see out of him. I literally can’t remember a single thing about the rest of the day she was born other than the two of us just staring, teary-eyed, at our new baby. There was a lot of, “She is so sweet! She is so beautiful! Oh, I just love her!” going on, that’s for sure. Not only was Ryan absolutely melting my heart with how sweet he was with Kallie- but he was so incredibly helpful the whole time we were at the hospital! He was so good at taking the initiative, asking all sorts of questions, diving in to help—which was so wonderful while I was recovering and overwhelmed and sleep deprived. Such a good teammate! Not only that, he is such a good dad already! Oh my goodness, he is such a natural.

Day Two: Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Same thing, still at the hospital. Can hardly remember what even happened during the day besides just hanging out as our little family of three. Kallie is just the sweetest. Not only is she just darling to look at, she has the most calm and content temperament. She's a dream. Eats well, sleeps well, never cries, and loves snuggling. What more could you want out of a baby?! She is an absolute angel, and we just cannot get enough. 

That night we had our first visitors—a bunch of them, too!  Kallie met Stacey & Brock, McKenna & Dallin, Bryce & Allie, and Butch & Sarie. They were all so sweet—bearing gifts and treats and making us feel so loved. It was so fun to relive “our story” and just gush over our sweet baby. We loved showing her off!




Day Three: Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Wednesday we were discharged from the hospital! We were super happy with our “stay” the whole time we were there…until those last few hours. I think knowing that we were on our way out, then having to wait and wait and wait for all the final procedures to take place—it was amazing how quickly cabin fever set in. We were ready to get out of there! Kallie was diagnosed with a little bit of jaundice and they had us pick up a bilirubin blanket (aka- a blanket with lights) to wrap her in for the next few days to help the jaundice go down. As soon as we got home, we got settled, got Kallie snuggled into her blanket (total glow worm status), then Ryan ran out on a grocery run. (It’s amazing what you find in your fridge when someone else does the shopping…Doritos, Eggo waffles, frozen burritos…he cracks me up!) Just kidding, I have to give him much more credit than that, because he got home and made me a steak dinner. What on earth? I always knew he’d take good care of me, but steak? On our first night home from the hospital? He truly outdid himself on that one. It was amazing!





That night it was New Years Eve of course, and I’ve gotta say, it sure was a memorable one. We have a little tradition that we keep a running list going of all the funny things that happened throughout the year, then on New Years Eve we go back and read through them all. So, our New Years Eve was spent laying in bed, snuggling our precious new baby, and giggling over 2014 memories. Pretty sure we’ll remember that night for the rest of our lives.



Day Four: Thursday, January 1, 2015
Our first, real, full day at home together! Happy New Years to us! We had to take Kallie in for her jaundice test and she did great. Slept through the whole thing- heel prick and all. What a little trooper! Ryan ran errands and was super helpful around the house and with the baby. He’s the best. Then we had more visitors! Heidi came by to snuggle baby girl and then Bryce and Allie came over to visit, which meant...play games all night. 


True gamers multi-task… ;)

Day Five: Friday, January 2, 2015
The morning started out with another jaundice test with not-so-good news. Her levels had been going up and up, and this time they went up as high as they can go before they need to start hospital treatment. They moved her up from a light blanket to a light bed that we kept her on at all times in hopes to bring her levels down. Luckily, she was perfectly content on her little bed and her jaundice made her super sleepy, so she stayed asleep most of the day anyway. That afternoon, we had a visit from Roxanne and Kendall. It’s always so fun to have visitors- we love it! And this day in particular, it was good to have anything keep our minds off the jaundice. Not that jaundice is severe enough for her to “need to be hospitalized”—that just sounds so scary—it's just that she would need a higher level of light therapy that can only be done at the hospital. It was still a scary day, though, and I cried a lot. That night, Daddy gave her the sweetest blessing that immediately put me at peace. (I think I needed that blessing more than she did…) I felt the most calm assurance that everything would be just fine, and slept peacefully through the night.



Day Six: Saturday, January 3, 2015
A pretty slow, but anxious day. We took her in first thing in the morning for another jaundice test. This was our last chance for her levels to go down before they admitted her. We spent the entire afternoon waiting by the phone for her results. When they finally called, her levels had gone down to 15.8! A huge decrease! Oh, baby Kallie, we were so worried! Ryan and I just cried—such a relief, our prayers had been answered. I always have been, but especially now that I’m a mom, I am so incredibly grateful for the priesthood in our home and the ability we have to call down blessings from heaven when we’re in need. Prayer works. The priesthood is real. And I feel so blessed to have a worthy husband who blesses our home with it.

Day Seven: Sunday, January 4, 2015
Sunday morning, my mom came into town! It will be so great to have her here this week to help me around the house and, of course, love on sweet Kallie. After I picked her up from the airport, we had to rush right away to get to the hospital for more testing. We were of course much more relaxed this time now that we knew her levels were going down, and once again, we were thrilled with the results that her levels had gone down even more. Way to go, sweet baby! That afternoon, Sara came to visit, and then later that evening, Bryce and Allie came over again for our typical Sunday night game night. Baby girl was a great addition to the group, we love having her tag along!

Not only am I just smitten by this cute baby, I am falling so much more in love with Ryan. Wow. It’s amazing how much this sweet little baby and the whole experience of becoming parents has bonded us. I know we’ve had it pretty easy so far, but I just already feel like our foundation as a couple has gotten stronger and stronger everyday since she's been with us. How did I get so lucky? I can’t get over how much I love my little family!

Saturday, January 10, 2015

newborn pictures

















Monday, January 5, 2015

birth story

Well, we did it! After 9 long months, baby Kallie finally made her grand debut and joined our family. It’s hard to believe! After all the waiting and anticipation, in the blink of an eye it was all over and our lives were changed forever. The last few days have been an absolute whirlwind and now we’re just hunkered down at home—just in awe of how much we love this little baby.
Here’s the story!


My induction was scheduled for Monday morning, but after little progression on my own in the weeks leading up to it, my doctor decided to have me go in the night before to start with a cervix softener to prep for the Pitocin the next day.  As much as I was hoping to go into labor on my own, it was so nice to be able to plan and go in on Sunday night, eager and ready. We got there around 6:30pm, got settled and situated, then I’d assumed they’d just give me my little dose, we’d go to bed, then wake up the next morning and have a baby! But of course, there was a little more to it than that.  When I got my first dose of Cytotec around 9:00pm, I was dilated to a 1 and was 70% effaced. 4 hours later when they checked me, nothing had changed. They would have just given me another dose, but since I was already having pretty frequent contractions (still super mild and relatively painless), they wanted to give my cervix a chance to catch up. They didn’t want to intensify my contractions if I still wasn’t dilating- there would be nowhere for baby to go! They checked me every hour from there, and still no progress. Pretty discouraging to hear. At this point, I kind of started to panic—why did we do this? It's too early, my body’s not ready, this is not going to end well… After checking me a few more times, they decided to just go ahead and put me on Pitocin. WHAT?! I thought the whole concern was that my body was NOT ready to induce labor! I was already having contractions, I didn’t need that to increase! Wasn’t that the whole point of holding off on more Cytotec? What I wish they had told me was that intensifying my labor with Pitocin would help me dilate. (Side note- As much as I loved all of my nurses throughout my delivery and recovery…this particular nurse I had during my induction could have been a little more open about what was going on… It would have been really nice to have a nurse coaching me through all this instead of letting my mind jump to the worst-case scenario… I later learned that this was all fine and normal. Thanks for the panic). 

So, they started me on a small dose of Pitocin at 4:30am.  After a long night of tossing and turning, feeling crampy and anxious, I woke up around 8:00am feeling super uncomfortable. They measured me at a 2 and shortly thereafter my water broke! Success! Such a relief to see some progress, but still somewhat discouraging considering how long it took me to go from just a 1 to a 2…even with drugs. Oh well, progress is progress, but I figured we still had a LONG way to go. From there, I started feeling more and more painful contractions. I felt a little silly asking for my epidural so soon (in my mind, I’m thinking I’m still only at a 2…), but they went ahead and called the anesthesiologist, and with only one patient ahead of me, he would be there in about 10 minutes. Luckily I asked for my epidural when I did, because all of the sudden my contractions escalated like crazy. We’re talking super intense, super painful, super close together. They were coming about every minute and lasting about 30 seconds each…talk about zero recovery time in between! I was dying. And starting to panic. If I’m only at a TWO…how much WORSE is this going to get? Where is the epidural guy? What happened to “10 minutes?” And even once he gets here, how long will it take for the epidural it to kick in? With the pain, I had to constantly be rocking and swaying and squirming…how on earth would I be able to hold still? Total panic mode. (By the way, Ryan was amazing during all of this and stayed super strong for me, which was of course highly appreciated during my time of desperate need!) After about 45 minutes of this 1-minute-apart-contraction-business, my doctor came in and witnessed me in the peak of my misery and offered me some pain meds through my IV while I waited for the epidural. YES PLEASE. This literally saved my life. The meds kicked in right away, and I immediately felt super relaxed and drowsy. It reduced the pain about 50%, which was a huge relief at the time. The contractions were still painful, but manageable. Luckily it was only about 10 minutes from there until the anesthesiologist arrived, but having those meds get me through even those last 10 minutes was a total game changer. Not to mention, it helped SO MUCH to be so relaxed through the whole epidural process, especially with how impossible it would have been for me to hold still without. I was literally dozing off as he was placing it—that’s how great this stuff was. The epidural kicked in within a few minutes and it immediately relieved of the other 50% of the pain. AH-MAZING. Now that all that was behind us, they checked me again, and I was all the way to an 8! Then less than 5 minutes later, completed to a 10! Wow! That happened fast! I went from a 2-10 in less than an hour. No WONDER I was in so much pain... 

At that point, they had me wait about an hour to let the baby descend on her own before I started pushing. During that time I felt totally relaxed, took a little snooze, and woke up completely energized. It was now 11:00am and it was time to start pushing. Even with the epidural, I could feel the whole thing—everything except the pain. Have I mentioned how much I loved my epidural? For me, it was just this miracle drug that allowed my body to feel absolutely everything that was going on except for the pain. How was it able to “pick and choose” like that? It was incredible. After pushing about an hour and making good progress, my doctor came in to finish things up. Throughout the labor process, the baby’s heart rate would drop a little during contractions. It would pick up in between, but as she got closer and closer, her heart rate stopped going back up. My doctor decided they needed to do a little intervention in order to get her out in time, so during my next contraction he used a vacuum device to pull on her while I pushed. With just a few slight tugs with the suction, she was completely out! That was that! It was incredible. So surreal. I still look back on that moment and have no idea how to put my thoughts and feelings into words. She was perfect. 6 pounds, 14 ounces, 19 inches of perfection. And more than that, this tiny little perfect angel baby was ours. Absolutely indescribable. The next 48 hours were a blur, but I do know there was a lot of the two of us just staring at her teary-eyed, just smitten. We are so attached already and just adore this little baby more than we ever knew possible. We feel so blessed to have this sweet baby girl in our lives and are just taking in every moment. We are so in love! Stay posted for more updates!


Kallie Michelle Bench
December 29, 2014
12:40pm
6 lbs, 14 oz, 19 in


Could she be any more precious?