kallie's first week

Oh my word- we just love this baby! The first week with her in our lives was so special, I had to jot down some notes so we wouldn't forget. Time is flying by so quickly already!

Day One: Monday, December 29, 2014

Continuing on from her delivery story... After she was born, the next few minutes were pretty standard. Ryan cut the cord, they laid her on me while they toweled her off, then took her over to the little heating station in the corner to be checked, weighed and measured. Then within a few minutes they brought her back to me, and as soon as they laid her on my chest, she was silent. Like she recognized me! Totally silent and calm with the most alert eyes just looking around all over. That’s when it all started to get very real… This is my daughter! She knows who I am! It was amazing how quickly I fell in love. Then there was breastfeeding, bath time, then they moved us to postpartum where we would stay the next two days to recover. Ryan was absolutely amazing throughout the entire process, but I especially loved watching him fall in love with his little girl. He was super emotional all day long—a side I rarely see out of him. I literally can’t remember a single thing about the rest of the day she was born other than the two of us just staring, teary-eyed, at our new baby. There was a lot of, “She is so sweet! She is so beautiful! Oh, I just love her!” going on, that’s for sure. Not only was Ryan absolutely melting my heart with how sweet he was with Kallie- but he was so incredibly helpful the whole time we were at the hospital! He was so good at taking the initiative, asking all sorts of questions, diving in to help—which was so wonderful while I was recovering and overwhelmed and sleep deprived. Such a good teammate! Not only that, he is such a good dad already! Oh my goodness, he is such a natural.

Day Two: Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Same thing, still at the hospital. Can hardly remember what even happened during the day besides just hanging out as our little family of three. Kallie is just the sweetest. Not only is she just darling to look at, she has the most calm and content temperament. She's a dream. Eats well, sleeps well, never cries, and loves snuggling. What more could you want out of a baby?! She is an absolute angel, and we just cannot get enough. 

That night we had our first visitors—a bunch of them, too!  Kallie met Stacey & Brock, McKenna & Dallin, Bryce & Allie, and Butch & Sarie. They were all so sweet—bearing gifts and treats and making us feel so loved. It was so fun to relive “our story” and just gush over our sweet baby. We loved showing her off!

Day Three: Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Wednesday we were discharged from the hospital! We were super happy with our “stay” the whole time we were there…until those last few hours. I think knowing that we were on our way out, then having to wait and wait and wait for all the final procedures to take place—it was amazing how quickly cabin fever set in. We were ready to get out of there! Kallie was diagnosed with a little bit of jaundice and they had us pick up a bilirubin blanket (aka- a blanket with lights) to wrap her in for the next few days to help the jaundice go down. As soon as we got home, we got settled, got Kallie snuggled into her blanket (total glow worm status), then Ryan ran out on a grocery run. (It’s amazing what you find in your fridge when someone else does the shopping…Doritos, Eggo waffles, frozen burritos…he cracks me up!) Just kidding, I have to give him much more credit than that, because he got home and made me a steak dinner. What on earth? I always knew he’d take good care of me, but steak? On our first night home from the hospital? He truly outdid himself on that one. It was amazing!

That night it was New Years Eve of course, and I’ve gotta say, it sure was a memorable one. We have a little tradition that we keep a running list going of all the funny things that happened throughout the year, then on New Years Eve we go back and read through them all. So, our New Years Eve was spent laying in bed, snuggling our precious new baby, and giggling over 2014 memories. Pretty sure we’ll remember that night for the rest of our lives.

Day Four: Thursday, January 1, 2015

Our first, real, full day at home together! Happy New Years to us! We had to take Kallie in for her jaundice test and she did great. Slept through the whole thing- heel prick and all. What a little trooper! Ryan ran errands and was super helpful around the house and with the baby. He’s the best. Then we had more visitors! Heidi came by to snuggle baby girl and then Bryce and Allie came over to visit, which meant...play games all night. 

True gamers multi-task… ;)

Day Five: Friday, January 2, 2015

The morning started out with another jaundice test with not-so-good news. Her levels had been going up and up, and this time they went up as high as they can go before they need to start hospital treatment. They moved her up from a light blanket to a light bed that we kept her on at all times in hopes to bring her levels down. Luckily, she was perfectly content on her little bed and her jaundice made her super sleepy, so she stayed asleep most of the day anyway. That afternoon, we had a visit from Roxanne and Kendall. It’s always so fun to have visitors- we love it! And this day in particular, it was good to have anything keep our minds off the jaundice. Not that jaundice is severe enough for her to “need to be hospitalized”—that just sounds so scary—it's just that she would need a higher level of light therapy that can only be done at the hospital. It was still a scary day, though, and I cried a lot. That night, Daddy gave her the sweetest blessing that immediately put me at peace. (I think I needed that blessing more than she did…) I felt the most calm assurance that everything would be just fine, and slept peacefully through the night.

Day Six: Saturday, January 3, 2015

A pretty slow, but anxious day. We took her in first thing in the morning for another jaundice test. This was our last chance for her levels to go down before they admitted her. We spent the entire afternoon waiting by the phone for her results. When they finally called, her levels had gone down to 15.8! A huge decrease! Oh, baby Kallie, we were so worried! Ryan and I just cried—such a relief, our prayers had been answered. I always have been, but especially now that I’m a mom, I am so incredibly grateful for the priesthood in our home and the ability we have to call down blessings from heaven when we’re in need. Prayer works. The priesthood is real. And I feel so blessed to have a worthy husband who blesses our home with it.

Day Seven: Sunday, January 4, 2015

Sunday morning, my mom came into town! It will be so great to have her here this week to help me around the house and, of course, love on sweet Kallie. After I picked her up from the airport, we had to rush right away to get to the hospital for more testing. We were of course much more relaxed this time now that we knew her levels were going down, and once again, we were thrilled with the results that her levels had gone down even more. Way to go, sweet baby! That afternoon, Sara came to visit, and then later that evening, Bryce and Allie came over again for our typical Sunday night game night. Baby girl was a great addition to the group, we love having her tag along!

Not only am I just smitten by this cute baby, I am falling so much more in love with Ryan. Wow. It’s amazing how much this sweet little baby and the whole experience of becoming parents has bonded us. I know we’ve had it pretty easy so far, but I just already feel like our foundation as a couple has gotten stronger and stronger everyday since she's been with us. How did I get so lucky? I can’t get over how much I love my little family!

newborn pictures

birth story

Well, we did it! After 9 long months, baby Kallie finally made her grand debut and joined our family. It’s hard to believe! After all the waiting and anticipation, in the blink of an eye it was all over and our lives were changed forever. The last few days have been an absolute whirlwind and now we’re just hunkered down at home—just in awe of how much we love this little baby.

Here’s the story!

My induction was scheduled for Monday morning, but after little progression on my own in the weeks leading up to it, my doctor decided to have me go in the night before to start with a cervix softener to prep for the Pitocin the next day.  As much as I was hoping to go into labor on my own, it was so nice to be able to plan and go in on Sunday night, eager and ready. We got there around 6:30pm, got settled and situated, then I’d assumed they’d just give me my little dose, we’d go to bed, then wake up the next morning and have a baby! But of course, there was a little more to it than that.  When I got my first dose of Cytotec around 9:00pm, I was dilated to a 1 and was 70% effaced. 4 hours later when they checked me, nothing had changed. They would have just given me another dose, but since I was already having pretty frequent contractions (still super mild and relatively painless), they wanted to give my cervix a chance to catch up. They didn’t want to intensify my contractions if I still wasn’t dilating- there would be nowhere for baby to go! They checked me every hour from there, and still no progress. Pretty discouraging to hear. At this point, I kind of started to panic—why did we do this? It's too early, my body’s not ready, this is not going to end well… After checking me a few more times, they decided to just go ahead and put me on Pitocin. WHAT?! I thought the whole concern was that my body was NOT ready to induce labor! I was already having contractions, I didn’t need that to increase! Wasn’t that the whole point of holding off on more Cytotec? What I wish they had told me was that intensifying my labor with Pitocin would help me dilate. (Side note- As much as I loved all of my nurses throughout my delivery and recovery…this particular nurse I had during my induction could have been a little more open about what was going on… It would have been really nice to have a nurse coaching me through all this instead of letting my mind jump to the worst-case scenario… I later learned that this was all fine and normal. Thanks for the panic). 

So, they started me on a small dose of Pitocin at 4:30am.  After a long night of tossing and turning, feeling crampy and anxious, I woke up around 8:00am feeling super uncomfortable. They measured me at a 2 and shortly thereafter my water broke! Success! Such a relief to see some progress, but still somewhat discouraging considering how long it took me to go from just a 1 to a 2…even with drugs. Oh well, progress is progress, but I figured we still had a LONG way to go. From there, I started feeling more and more painful contractions. I felt a little silly asking for my epidural so soon (in my mind, I’m thinking I’m still only at a 2…), but they went ahead and called the anesthesiologist, and with only one patient ahead of me, he would be there in about 10 minutes. Luckily I asked for my epidural when I did, because all of the sudden my contractions escalated like crazy. We’re talking super intense, super painful, super close together. They were coming about every minute and lasting about 30 seconds each…talk about zero recovery time in between! I was dying. And starting to panic. If I’m only at a TWO…how much WORSE is this going to get? Where is the epidural guy? What happened to “10 minutes?” And even once he gets here, how long will it take for the epidural it to kick in? With the pain, I had to constantly be rocking and swaying and squirming…how on earth would I be able to hold still? Total panic mode. (By the way, Ryan was amazing during all of this and stayed super strong for me, which was of course highly appreciated during my time of desperate need!) After about 45 minutes of this 1-minute-apart-contraction-business, my doctor came in and witnessed me in the peak of my misery and offered me some pain meds through my IV while I waited for the epidural. YES PLEASE. This literally saved my life. The meds kicked in right away, and I immediately felt super relaxed and drowsy. It reduced the pain about 50%, which was a huge relief at the time. The contractions were still painful, but manageable. Luckily it was only about 10 minutes from there until the anesthesiologist arrived, but having those meds get me through even those last 10 minutes was a total game changer. Not to mention, it helped SO MUCH to be so relaxed through the whole epidural process, especially with how impossible it would have been for me to hold still without. I was literally dozing off as he was placing it—that’s how great this stuff was. The epidural kicked in within a few minutes and it immediately relieved of the other 50% of the pain. AH-MAZING. Now that all that was behind us, they checked me again, and I was all the way to an 8! Then less than 5 minutes later, completed to a 10! Wow! That happened fast! I went from a 2-10 in less than an hour. No WONDER I was in so much pain... 

At that point, they had me wait about an hour to let the baby descend on her own before I started pushing. During that time I felt totally relaxed, took a little snooze, and woke up completely energized. It was now 11:00am and it was time to start pushing. Even with the epidural, I could feel the whole thing—everything except the pain. Have I mentioned how much I loved my epidural? For me, it was just this miracle drug that allowed my body to feel absolutely everything that was going on except for the pain. How was it able to “pick and choose” like that? It was incredible. After pushing about an hour and making good progress, my doctor came in to finish things up. Throughout the labor process, the baby’s heart rate would drop a little during contractions. It would pick up in between, but as she got closer and closer, her heart rate stopped going back up. My doctor decided they needed to do a little intervention in order to get her out in time, so during my next contraction he used a vacuum device to pull on her while I pushed. With just a few slight tugs with the suction, she was completely out! That was that! It was incredible. So surreal. I still look back on that moment and have no idea how to put my thoughts and feelings into words. She was perfect. 6 pounds, 14 ounces, 19 inches of perfection. And more than that, this tiny little perfect angel baby was ours. Absolutely indescribable. The next 48 hours were a blur, but I do know there was a lot of the two of us just staring at her teary-eyed, just smitten. We are so attached already and just adore this little baby more than we ever knew possible. We feel so blessed to have this sweet baby girl in our lives and are just taking in every moment. We are so in love! Stay posted for more updates!

Kallie Michelle Bench

December 29, 2014

12:40pm

6 lbs, 14 oz, 19 in

Could she be any more precious?

full term

That's right- full term! 38 weeks today.  Time is absolutely flying by, especially with Christmas right around the corner keeping us super busy! I can hardly contain my excitement. Baby girl is still healthy as can be and squirming around like crazy. I just can't wait to meet her!

 37 weeks

Aches or Pains: My poor feet! They don't hurt all the time, but that's definitely the first place the pain kicks in when I've been out and about too long. 

Other Symptoms: I'm definitely slowing down these days... Anyone who knows me well knows I love to run errands. I'm also a really fast walker, so I'm used to zipping around the grocery store, zipping in and out of parking lots,  and being super efficient with my errand-running. Needless to say, errands aren't nearly as fun with a waddle. 

Cravings: Nothing in particular anymore. I'm actually losing my appetite quite a bit. Not because I'm nauseous or queasy, but because it's so incredibly uncomfortable to be full! There's not a whole lot of room in there for my stomach to expand, so...a little bit goes a long way these days. 

Sleeping: Still hard to turn from side to side, but I'm getting more and more used to "being uncomfortable" and sleeping much better as of lately. 

Nesting: ...is a real thing. I keep reading that my "motherly instincts" will start to kick in as baby gets closer to arriving, and it's so true. I can't even tell you how many times I've organized her closet and folded (and refolded) all the clothes in her dresser. I'm constantly "tidying up" and finding new places to deep clean. 

Final Baby Preparations: We've taken our birthing class, our breastfeeding class, chosen our pediatrician, packed our hospital bags and installed the carseat. We are READY! The best part of all this "final prep" was taking our hospital tour- that really made this whole thing seem real! I loved the staff, loved their policies, and was just super impressed with our whole experience.  I also loved meeting our pediatrician! I had gotten lots of great recommendations, but felt so good about my first "new mom consultation," that I cancelled all the rest. He is so fabulous and I know he will be a great fit! 

Nerves? Anxiety? None, whatsoever. Yes, I'm anxious, but only anxious-excited! Everyone's always asking me if I'm getting nervous, but I'm not at all. Probably just because I'm naive and have no idea what I'm in for. The real person they should be asking is Ryan...he might have a different opinion on the matter ;)

Daddy-to-be: ...has been so great. He puts on my shoes, rubs my feet, and even painted my toenails the other day! It is so cute watching him get more and more excited to meet his little girl.

Less than two weeks, people. Two weeks!!

 (The progression...)

30 weeks

I cannot get over how quickly time is going by...30 weeks already?  That's a pretty big milestone if you ask me! This is all starting to get very real.

I know it's annoying, but I love being pregnant! I'm still feeling great and haven't felt much discomfort at all yet. Hoping for a few more good weeks before that starts to kick in. The belly is definitely getting bigger though, especially in the past few weeks!  The best part is feeling her squirming around in there all the time! It never gets old. I just love it!

26 weeks, 28 weeks, 30 weeks

• Aches or Pains: A little bit in my hips/sides when I get up after sitting or laying for a long time. Also, some crazy painful charlie horses in my calves! What the, random? 
• Other Symptoms: Some occasional heartburn, but nothing crazy. And starting to feel some Braxton Hicks contractions which is kind of cool! 
• Cravings: Donuts and Dr. Pepper have never tasted so good--neither of which had ever been temptations before I was pregnant.  Ice cream too, but I can't really blame that on the pregnancy, not much has changed there :)
• Baby Items Purchased: My most recent obsession has been with hair bows. I tried to hold off for as long as I could, but it happened. I can't stop. I didn't think I had bought that many, until Ryan informed me that this baby has 29 hair bows. "She has more hair accessories than I have shirts! And she's not even born yet!"  This is only the beginning, I'm sure...
• Nursery: ...is complete! It has been so fun to put together. Now all we need is a baby!
• Worst Moment (as of lately): Getting a COLD! I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but a nasty cold when you can't take any meds for it is pretty miserable. Couldn't sleep, couldn't breathe, couldn't swallow- sure glad that one's over.
• Best Moment (as of lately): I have 13 friends who are also pregnant right now- 13!! 2 sisters-in-law (which makes me SO excited to have cousin babies so close in age) and 11 other friends! It is SO fun to be going through this whole pregnancy thing at the same time and it makes me so excited to raise our babies together :)

A little sneak peek... Like I said, all we need now is the baby! We cannot wait to meet her!

baby on the way

Yep...it's true!  We could not be more thrilled to announce the upcoming arrival of our very first baby girl.  I figure now that I'm halfway there (20 weeks!), I'd better start documenting my pregnancy and sharing a little piece of our excitement! 

First of all, this pregnancy has been a breeze. (Sorry ladies!)  I really have been so blessed to have it so easy.  I had been warned that the first trimester would be brutal, but besides a few queasy weeks (7-9), the only other symptoms I experienced were a weird appetite and some serious sleepiness.  I could sleep in until 10 and still desperately need a 3 hour nap by the afternoon.  No nausea, thankfully, just some motion sickness and dizziness at the beginning.  Now that I'm into the second trimester, my energy's back and I'm feeling great!  

Now to catch up on the past 20 weeks, a few pregnancy updates...

• Suspicions on Gender (before we found out): I knew for sure it was a boy...mostly because I wanted a girl so bad and I knew I wasn't that lucky. You can imagine how ecstatic I was when we found out :)  I think I insulted the ultrasound technician with how many times I asked, "Are you sure?" "Are you really sure?" "Are you absolutely positive?!" At 16 weeks they were "99% sure," and at our 20 week ultrasound they confirmed, once again, that she is indeed a little girl. Still dying of excitement!
• Aches or Pains: None, really. Just barely starting to feel some back discomfort while sitting or laying in certain positions. I'm sure this is only the start...
• Sleeping: Lots and lots of it! Starting to get uncomfortable just in the past few days... I've always understood how a big belly would make it difficult to sit up and move around in bed, but WOW, I did not realize how soon those muscles would go away- long before the belly even comes! (Didn't even realize rolling over in bed required any muscles...) My abs are gone. It's pathetic.
• Maternity Clothes: Thankfully, not yet! Let's be honest, I'd much rather be spending my pennies on baby girl's wardrobe, not on new clothes for me I'll only be able to wear a for few weeks at a time.  There's definitely a little baby bump there, but luckily I'm carrying high enough that it hasn't affected my pants yet. Hoping to hold out at least a few more weeks!
• Cravings: No consistent cravings, but whatever it is that I'm craving in the moment, I MUST have it. This has ranged from Kneader's turkey sandwiches and real-fruit strawberry popsicles in the beginning...to ice-cream, popcorn, cake, donuts, fast-food breakfast, KFC (what?!), and pizza in the recent weeks. Hopefully I'll start craving fruits and veggies one of these days...whoops!
• Baby Movement: Just started feeling her this past week! It feels like little twitches inside me, sometimes it even tickles. I absolutely LOVE IT. There's really a baby in there!
• Baby Items Purchased: TOO MANY. I can't help it! My parents were generous enough to spoil us with our stroller/carseat combo (thanks mom and dad!), and other than that it's just been lots and lots of clothes. My personal favorite purchase has been her sparkly pink jellies (pictured below). I'm dying. (Oh, and I guess we bought a crib and a changing table/dresser set too. But that was months ago, WAY TOO EARLY, we are aware. Clearly first-time parents, cut us some slack :)
• Best Moment So Far: Catching Ryan sneaking around the nursery...peeking in her closet at all her clothes, "test driving" her stroller... :) I think what I'm most excited for is watching him become a daddy. He just adores this baby girl already and it is absolutely melting my heart. 

We are so in love already! December cannot come soon enough!

life in logan

I can't believe we've been here in Logan for over 6 months and I still haven't gotten around to posting about it.  Maybe it's because it still feels like we just barely got here, andddd we're already on our way out? It's been nearly impossible to really get settled knowing we'd only be here a short time...but with that said, we really have enjoyed it! Logan's a funny little place...small, pretty, and definitely has a unique culture about it. Although I've kept myself pretty busy working from home, Ryan's rigorous school schedule has left me with LOTS of time on my hands to get creative with. 

Here are some random little updates about my life in Logan...

-Sweatpants and slippers have become absolute staples in my wardrobe. (When sweatpants and t-shirts significantly outnumber the amount of REAL clothes in your laundry each week, you know you live a great life)

-This is the view from my kitchen window. Not even kidding. Probably what I'll miss most about this place..

-I found my long-lost love of reading! What better way to spend a long, cold winter than snuggled up with a good book? The dream. 

-Ryan and I have had lots of bonding time. We've gone through phases of Scramble, Bananagrams, Jim Gaffigan, and The Hunger Games.  (We read The Hunger Games at the same time, and every time we'd talk about it Ryan would insist, "this isn't book club!," but I totally ate it up)

-Trips to Costco and Target have become a TREAT! I'm like a kid in a candy store every time we make the trip down. I will never take them for granted ever again... 

-I've picked up all sorts of new hobbies! Reading (as mentioned), crafting, QUILTING (who am I?) My latest project has been this BYU t-shirt quilt. Not bad for a beginner!

-I started giving plasma. There's a donation center right around the corner from us, so why not? Even better than the little extra "fun money" I earn each week is all the PAMPERING!  Ryan's absolutely terrified of needles, so even the thought of me getting stuck makes him crumble.  Every time I go he pretty much begs me at the door to stay. "You don't have to do this! You don't have to go!" Ha! I'll take the extra TLC :)

-I'm obsessed with Aggie Ice Cream.  I know that makes me a traitor and there are very few things that will ever trump my loyalty to BYU, but it is to die for.  The BYU Creamery is hard to beat, but as much as I hate to admit it, the Aggie's win on this one. 

-I've learned to love winter. MAYBE it has something to do with the fact that I'm not walking to and from campus everyday (which I definitely haven't missed...), and I'm not forced to be outside in the cold at all with an exception of getting the mail and the 2 seconds it takes to get in and out of the car. Or, maybe it's because we lucked out with the most mild winter in the history of Logan winters.  We'd been warned right and left about the brutal winter that awaited us, but it has been a breeze. I remember feeling freezing cold exactly ONCE this winter...ironically after seeing "Frozen." (And after seeing the movie, winter seemed magical and enchanting...it just added to the experience!) Either way, I'm not complaining! 

I'll be honest, I'm a total extrovert and this "laid back lifestyle" isn't exactly my thing.  Anyone who knows me well knows this is quite the change of pace for me and that I can hardly function without being busy! (Hence the desperate search for new hobbies...) Needless to say, it has been an adjustment, but I figured I'd embrace it for this short period of time we're here--there's not a chance I'll ever have so much downtime ever again in my life! Overall, I think it's been a good thing and we've made some pretty good memories out of our little adventure here. We might even be a little sad to leave. Here's to living up our last little bit before real life sets in! (Updates to follow...)